Thursday, July 21, 2005

How not to sell me something...

Dude calls today - for "the person making the marketing decisions".

Yeah, that would be me.

Starts talking to me about putting a listing on his portal site...blah blah blah, great testimonials, long-time business, success stories...etc.

I check out his site--Crappy page rank. I ask why I would want to list my site on his, when I have a significently better PR, and currently list well organically for my targeted keyphrases.

He doesn't know what a "Page Rank" is, but do I use the phone book?

huh??? phone book. "No, I do not use the phone book".

"well, my site is like an online phonebook" - -uh yeah, dude, I get that... (does he know who he is talking to?)

He goes on to ask again if I use the yellow pages..."no"... Dude! Pay attention. Then he says I must not be being honest with him...because everyone uses the phone book.

huh? He's trying to sell me a listing on a Website, and the selling point is that it is better than the yellow pages, and then calls me a liar to make his point.


We talk a little, I give him a lesson on PR, tell him I did use a phone book once as a child to reach the "big girl table"...(attempting now to amuse myself through chatting about proper SEO techniques and antidotes about my past experiences with the phone book... ) Dude is like a broken record.

His script was not meant to deal with someone like me - aggressive, ADD, smart. WAY smarter than him...

So then I tell him that he can email me, (they guy is obviously mentally disturbed - or really bad at cold calling). He says that he doesn't like email, because it takes too long to talk to people.

uhhhh. "ok" I say... "look" DUDE "If you want to sell me something, and I tell you to email me, that that is the best way to contact me... do not fight with me... I AM THE CUSTOMER.

and dude, it's me... if you have been paying any attention, email will be the only way to get ahold of me (ever again... especially given this conversation).

Oh and... try not to call me a liar when trying to sell something to me. Even if I just told you your mommy is a pink elephant with a polka dot hat.... agree with me... I am the customer.

And for god's sake. When talking to an internet marketer with a specialty in SEO.... know your page rank.

"I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence" - George Bernard Shaw.


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