Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The art of making new friends

I have been living in the Charlotte area, and I find myself with an unusual problem: I need to make some friends. I just don't know that many people here!

I haven't had to work to make new friends since I was in 5th grade. I just made friends. I can say I probably never had a lot of friends, but then I was always ok with that. I preferred a smaller, closer group.

So here I am in a new town, working from home with no natural friend-making opportunities presenting themselves and no one actively pursuing my friendship. Making friends as an adult is quite frankly, a little awkward. It is a balance between being interested and aggressive... and being too desperate. Maybe like dating... although I didnt do any of that as an adult either. ...Not only will my new friend-prospect need to like me, but they will have to like my son, and not annoy my husband too much. They will have to be intellectually interesting, but not too much of a smarty-pants.

Oh and the list goes on. As I write it I realize I have high standards. Guess that is why my friend list was always short....

:) -- well, I will continue to look for new friends and try not to overly freak them out with my awkward friend-seeking skills.

If nothing else the process is great research for my next book about introverts and relationships!

2 comments:

lecya said...

I feel your pain. I haven't had a good friend for a while, though I long for friendship. I too have high standards because I gotten my back stabbed too many times before. Now that I'm older I'm having a hard time, especially since I want open minded writer friends. I'm hoping that when I transfer schools I'll be able to find some.
I used to try so hard... I don't any more. I lost faith in people.

Meghan Wier said...

thanks for your comment. I guess in the end, making (and keeping) friends is like any other relationship--it is work. And just like other relationships (ie marriage!) You need to do 80% of the work to make it happen.
Good luck, and keep me posted on how things are going. Also, as a suggestion, try Craiglist for your area. There is a section for platonic relationships there. Now, you will get a few wacky emails, but I have met a couple nice people that way as well. -- Meg