Monday, August 13, 2007

balancing -- aka juggling

I have talked with a bunch of people recently who are completely overwhemed with life. They each have so much going on they can't seem to focus on getting anything done. Problem with not getting anything done... well it is still there, mocking you and being that one more thing proving you have too much going on.

I know that men (must)feel this way sometimes. But I hardly ever run into a woman who doesn't. What is it about women that we are all juggling a million things. We have the care-taker/mom thing... we have work and the house - because like it or not women will tell you they take on more housework & childcare than their mates. (I have also noticed that we have higher standards and do this to ourselves.... so we can't blame the guys entirely).

There is work, there is the yard, the house, the laundry, the kids, parents, the christmas shopping and the thing-that-comes-up-last-minute-that-you-have-to-take-care-of-that-you-didn't-see-coming. We have businesses, finances, our biolgical clock ticking/not-ticking/glass-ceiling/mommy-track/...menopause...Oh... and when are you suppossed to have sex?

So many of us just have too much going on. And the truth of it is we do it to ourselves. We could let things slide but we choose not to. We could have less demanding jobs, or make peanut-butter sandwiches for our kids every night for dinner. We could hire someone to clean our bathrooms or just let the laundry pile up until Saturday. But we don't. Somehow we are empowered by the thought that if we got it all done we would be SUPERWOMAN!

The problem is we rarely do get it all done. And so we feel overwhelmed.

And why should we be overwhelmed by the fact that we didn't get the hand painted cookies done in time for the dance recital? Or the vacuum run before guests come?

Somethings NEED to happen. We NEED to sleep. We NEED to eat and make sure our kids eat. (Nothing in the marriage vows require us to cook for hubby however... although it is nice once in a while and works as a motivator when you need help folding that laundry). We do NEED to be healthy, keep our kids healthy, clothed, taken care of, we NEED to have our finances in order and bills paid. Beyond that - getting that book read, (or written), dusting, catching up on a TV show or surfing the net are not things we NEED to do. Get the priorites done, and if you have time at the end of the day to do something else, do one of them. ONE. Put the dishes away and go to bed and be done with it. Because tomorrow is another day and getting one "extra" off that do-do list will be one less thing to worry about then. Well, at least until breakfast.

(Which leads me to a topic of discussion for another day -- delegation of responsibilities and chores - running your home like a business....)

***please note - I know I made a bunch of generalizations here and probably offended a few of you men. Suck it up -- no---just kidding. Now, I know that *you* are different, that just because *you* are a guy, doesn't mean *you* are a slob and don't take care of the kids. I know *you* do more than you get credit for. Really. But just *you*. The rest of them really are slobs. But *you*... *you* are wonderful.

1 comment:

Scott said...

Yeah, those other guys are lazy slobs, my wife is very lucky. ;-)

It seems to me that women worry and think about every little thing that needs to be done much more than men, increasing the likelyhood of eventually feeling overwhelmed. I think that most men also have a list of things they want to get done, but we are more likely to take them on one at a time and not worry about the others until we get to them. I read some where that women are better at multitasking, but I would think that would also cause one to worry or fret or get all worked up about more than one at the same time as well.

In a few homes MAYBE it's possible that the woman of the house has a lot more things to follow up with, although I'm sure that it's just because she let things pile up after hours of gossiping on the phone or watching soaps. ;-) Just kidding!! Really.